There is love at home

Hi how are you? 

I was goofing around while on the phone with one of my friends recently and he said “this is the happiest I've seen you in a really long while”. He was right. I spent 98% of my days in august just happy and playing around. 

On the first or second day of August I fell ill. I could already sense the intensity of the illness so before it got any more serious, I called home and in a few hours, I was on my way home. Of course, for the rest of that week, I was struggling for dear life but in the end, I won💃. I decided to spend the rest of August with my family as it would even be my last time in this city for some time.

I didn’t realize how much good energy and love I needed, to refill my tank and restore the happy Alice. It’s been an emotionally and mentally draining year, ahhh. Walahi, you need to wear my shoes to really understand how hard it’s been. Trust me, whatever it is you are thinking now is not what it is. I said it was emotionally and mentally draining. 

We are not here to glorify misery. God forbid.

When I said I wanted to go home and get medical help, I did because I knew what I needed was beyond tablets and injections. I just knew I needed some tender love and care and I was sure I could find it at home. I am not even ashamed to admit that I am still one of those people that think there is some sort of solution only my father knows about. If it gets hard, me I will go to my daddy's house (of course after trying everything I know and crying for 40 days and 39 nights😂🤣… sha sha me I will eventually go home)

Again, we are not here to talk about how although my father is not the most affectionate man you may meet, I just know he loves me and will move Earth and Jupiter for me if he needs to… or are we?

On one of the beautiful afternoons this month, I was having a whole concert in my room. I was dancing, jumping, flipping my imaginary long  hair and just in full performance mode and as I stopped to catch my breath, I looked in the mirror and the girl that looked back at me was full of joy, full of life. She wasn’t dancing to entertain her clearly amused nieces, nephews and little cousins—heck she didn’t care if they were there or if they were entertained, she was not trying to force herself to be happy, she was just happy. it was original, it was deep and it was obviously contagious.   

August was a happy month for me, , it really was and I am glad August happened when and how it did.

One very important lesson I learned this month is to go where you can clearly tell that you are loved. This world is already a harsh place and you need all the safety you can get from the people you share your personal space with. Be intentional, be insistent, be picky, be particular about cultivating a love filled environment. Don’t just  believe you are loved, be assured. you’re a garden and if you keep letting toxic chemicals on your soil, soon you will not only wither, you will also become toxic. Maybe you are not such a quiet, reserved woman, you’re just drained. Maybe you are not lazy and wicked, you’re just in the wrong atmosphere. 

please, let your inner joyful girl find expression, all of us will soon die and nobody will know you liked singing off tune when you are happy because you spent too much time around half-cooked love that you never really felt the depth of happiness that brought out the tone deaf happy singer in you.

…

Oh and please, if you find yourself in anybody’s happy space, don’t dilute it. If you cannot be happy as well, go away.

I love you, and I don’t want you to doubt it.

PS: I love it when you send me your replies. I read all of it word for word. Annette sent me a loonng reply the last time I sent an email and I was just reading and smiling anyhow. Send in your replies, I want to also see from your view💕

Have a good one, Sis!!