I'm happy for you but is it okay if I feel bad for myself?

How are you ? Let me start by apologizing for sending this letter by this time. It’s been one hell of a busy day and I totally forgot to schedule it ahead of time. I promise you, I will do better. Forgiven?? Thank you.

Now let’s get to business.

Have you ever received news about something good happening for your friend or family and a part of you feels a certain way? In all honesty, you are very happy for them but somehow, there is this tightness in your throat and you are finding it hard to swallow spit😂. You say congratulations from the depths of your heart but somewhere in your head, you are saying “God, what of me?”

Maybe like when your bestie that both of you have been single for so long gets into a relationship with in fact maybe the kind of guy you have been eyeing. chai!! or your favorite cousin finally gets a job even though both of you have been job hunting and you know for sure that you are better than them.

You are not jealous o! ah! God forbid that you are jealous. But honestly, you have been crying since you heard the news. This good news has reminded you that you are slow and all your mates are ahead of you.

God when? God what of me?  God, when will it even be my turn? When will it be me everybody is telling congratulations? When will my prayer points change?  Kai as I type this, I have chills running down my spine because trust me, I can relate 100%.

I know for certain that everybody, every single human being on the surface of this earth, has felt this way at some point in this life.If you haven’t, maybe you don’t really use to think of your life sha.

I want you to know that you are not a horrible person for wishing good things happened for you too. You are not an unhappy woman and you are not a witch. You are simply a normal human being like everybody else. 

But I'll tell you the same thing I tell myself: everybody has their own clock. I know you already know this but let this just serve as a very gentle reminder. There are no two people in this life that have the exact same journey. None! 

we may want similar things out of life but the journey that takes us there is very individualistic. Some people are slow cooked. Life will require them to take some more time to cook so all their flavors will be properly infused and when they are done, their taste will be top notch. For some others, life carries them in a sports car. Very fast, highly admirable and sometimes apparently luxurious. One thing the slow burner and the sports car have in common is that they are both special but use time differently.

Nobody is wrong, nobody is slow, our timing is just different.

Next time you ever feel that tightness in your chest and you catch yourself comparing your life with somebody else, no matter who it is or how close you are with that person or how familiar you are with their journey, remind yourself that your life is different and your destination is different.

I love you, I really do and I want you to always remember that you are not only different, your story is special.

See you soon.

Love, Alice.