Fine girl, how are you?

I’m scared. I'm worried I may not make an impression and maybe  I overhyped this newsletter thing. My biggest hindrance in this life is fear. my hands are shaky and all the weird thoughts possible are running through my head as I write you this letter. But like they say, you may never know if you don't try. So I'm going to ignore all the voices in my head and try writing you this letter without running away and just chickening out. 

How’s that for an introduction?...

Few weeks back, my friend, Gladys, told me she was going to text me and for the next 3 to 4 days, I was worried sick, thinking of what the PROBLEM could be and why she hasn't texted. She eventually sent a voice note, and the summary of this VN was that she had been meaning to reach out and find out how I was doing. In her message, she said, and I quote “how are you, Alice? And don’t just say you’re fine”. After listening to this voice note, I was first relieved, knowing that Gladys is fine but it took me another 1 week and a few days to reply to her and this was because I wasn’t expecting her question and honestly didn’t know how to answer it.

 Have you ever noticed that you have an auto generated “fine” sitting somewhere in your subconscious, waiting to respond to anybody that asks you how you are? 

Sometimes, you really don't know how you are and you are too scared to actually sit with your thoughts and be accountable for how you feel. some other times, you can’t say you're not fine because as much as you know you are struggling, you don’t want to appear as the weak one. you don’t want anybody looking at you ‘somehow’.

But what if? What if we are a little more honest and accountable to both ourselves and the people that genuinely care? What if we take out time to ask ourselves how we’re doing and make sure we don’t stop till we know exactly how we are and maybe find ways to feel better? 

What if we don’t just go into hiding or pretend we are doing well while we die inside?.

I want my first letter to be to challenge you to be honest with yourself and ditch that auto generated  “I’m fine” you always tell everybody, including yourself. Sit with yourself, look within long enough and answer this question genuinely: how are you? How is your heart, how is your mind, how is your spirit, how are you taking care of that girl within? 

No, don’t just say you are fine, go ahead and send a paragraph. Talk about how you've been having a hard week and how you don’t even know how to handle it. Talk about how you found out someone else got the scholarship you hoped you would get and how that makes you feel. You haven’t been able to figure out what to do about the project you have been working on and it makes you feel somehow? Say it!

Oh! You’ve been happy lately and life has been sending you beautiful flowers? You're blooming? Say it!

 Flaunt your joy, accept your sadness with your full chest too.

Don’t just say you are fine, send a paragraph!

…

So I ask again, Fine girl, how are you? 

PS: You know you can always reply to any of my emails and I'll get them and reply ASAP, right?

Also, welcome to my little corner. I hope my letters touch your heart and make you feel seen💕