Develop A Healthy Long Throat Sis.

Hey ,
How are you? How’s your weekend going?

Me? I had a “conversation” with ChatGPT earlier today… and before I knew it, I was crying. 😂 But that’s a story for another day.

Anywayssss
Let’s talk.

As a woman, especially a Nigerian woman there’s this natural conditioning to be “content” we were raised with.
It’s like there’s a silent instruction to dream… but don’t dream too big.
If you say the kind of life you really want, they’ll call you materialistic.
There's the kind of ambition you’ll have and they’ll say, “this one no wan marry.”

Sometimes it even feels like there is a certain quality of life that is only reserved for women married to good men or women that have decided against getting married. 

Don’t we all know or have that rich aunty who’s shattering ceilings in her career, traveling the world, living what we’d call “the good life,” but she’s either unmarried, widowed, or divorced?

And of course, whenever her name comes up, there’s an undertone of pity… or judgment

If you ask the average Nigerian girl from a typical home what she wants, you’ll hear the same safe, generic dreams.

Even you, , if you pause and think… haven’t you caught yourself lowering the bar?
Acting like there’s a ceiling on what you’re allowed to want?

Let me tell you one of the most liberating thoughts I’ve ever had:
No money is too much for me. No dream is too big. No life is “too good” for me… Maybe not yet, but walahi I must get the thing I want…and more 

This email is not solely about money, I chose money as an example because our “contentment problem” tends to show up there the loudest.(Nigerian women are materialistic😂😂)

There are too many ways we under-demand from life. From jobs, to relationships to even our conversations with God. 

Sometimes there's the kind of demand we can’t place before God because “who says i deserve it?”

 It’s like society is teaching women to calm down. That certain kinds of drive and ambition aren’t “feminine”. (Heyyyyy, let me not even start on this femininity talk becauseeeee… one day 😌.)

See ehn, my point is, this our mindset is dangerous.
It makes you sit when everything inside you is screaming to stand.
It makes you accept crumbs.
It makes you ask God for less than He already prepared for you.

So here’s what I’m saying today:
Develop a healthy amount of long throat.
Stop under-demanding from life.
Want more and stop apologizing for it.

Contentment is a beautiful thing but don’t let people use it to trap you in mediocrity.
You’re allowed to want more, sis.
You’re allowed to want the best.
You’re allowed to say, “this is not enough for me”  and go for better.

Me I’m rooting for you o.

I want to hear your story and stand in ovation, I want you to inspire me

In the meantime, please take care of yourself and don’t ever forget to ASK FOR MORE

Talk soon.

Love,
Alice

PS: if you ever feel like writing me back, don’t hold back, hit the reply button. I love reading your replies.